The thing about others' paths

So the thing about everyone’s individual path is, it is always right for them. As a spiritual seeker, I sometimes find myself falling into the trap of judging others for their missteps, and making judgments about the path another person has chosen. The typical judgment would be toward the speed or ease of another’s path. I.e., “Doesn’t he see that he is creating his own reality with his limiting beliefs?”; “Why doesn’t she practice yoga?”; “He should eat better”; “She would be happier and find peace more quickly if she just let go”; etc.

But how can we possibly know that our path is the best? Judgments of another’s path don’t make sense because the path is all about the journey; we are all headed toward the same destination but will experience the journey in a way that is unique and best-suited for us. It would be like saying my way of going for a mountain hike is the best because it is the quickest, and ignoring the fact that another route may have some very interesting twists and turns that would be missed by taking the shorter route.

Or, it would be like saying one movie is better than another movie because it is shorter! We would be ignoring all of the beautiful emotion and artistry that is invoked by watching the drama unfold on its own time.

You may find, as I have, that heartbreak follows unfulfilled expectations which come when others do not live up to the impossible ideals we have set for them. It can be difficult, but letting go of the judgments of others and giving them enough respect to live their own lives makes interactions with other humans a lot less heartbreaking.

We are all artists, and we create the artwork of our lives through our actions and beliefs. Even a person who seems to be creating a life of misery that could easily be avoided by following some of my poignant advice deserves my respect enough to let them create their art their way. And I hope I will receive the same respect in turn.

One thing I’ve learned from my career as an attorney is that almost anything can be argued either way. In other words, there is always an argument that can be found to support any proposition. Just because I believe it is best to do things one way, and can give several good arguments as to why I am right, does not mean that the same thing cannot be argued another way, with several good points to support that argument. We have to learn to start separating humans from their arguments, their judgments, and just love them for them. I have a tendency, which many humans suffer from, where I tend to dislike someone just because I disagree with the way they judge reality. How is that fair when reality can be judged in countless different ways, and our individual versions of reality are almost totally conditional upon our unique, individual life experience?

I believe that human interactions become easier when we start to recognize that every person acts in a way that makes sense to them, based upon their judgments of reality, which, again, come from their life experience and unique make up. You may agree with me. Or you may not. I'll try to love you for you either way.


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